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bela:
I love monkeys. They have little hands.
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 10:56:06 am)
Froupie:
fast little nit-picking hands.
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 10:57:00 am)
Decoy:
The hands is what I don;t trust. Mindless hands. Bad combination.
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 10:58:28 am)
bela:
Well, yeah, they plan maneuvers but monkeys are cool man. Once this guy had a monkey at this billiards place we used to go sometimes, I felt it wasn't really right to have a monkey as a pet, but who knows really.
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:03:50 am)
:
Here, let me help you.
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:04:47 am)
:
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:05:08 am)
:
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:06:08 am)
:
The relationship broke down when Jackson was punched by Bubbles and had to leave the Neverland ranch.
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:08:20 am)
:
Circus midget
Circus midget
Monkey monkey
Clown
Came to make
The people laugh
In a little
Town
Or so they thought
(The people did)
'Til smiles turned into
Frowns
Soon laughs were shrieks
As monkey, midget,
And the vicious
Clown
Produced their blades
And set to work
Turning undies
Brown
O how the people
Sobbed and begged
As they were beaten
Down
By a very naughty
Circus midget
Monkey monkey
Clown
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:09:45 am)
:
A Moscow Circus Orangutan peeled and ate a midget clown who was dressed as a banana during yesterday's performance.
Ivan Petrov’s yells of protest mingled with screams of horror from the audience when the Orangutan, evidently mistaking him for real fruit, began biting pieces off.
After 5 minutes all that remained of Mr Petrov was a messy pool of blood on the floor of the circus ring.
Mrs Petrov said today: "Olga is a good monkey and has not eaten anyone before in Australia. Her act is not replaceable and to shoot her would be bad for the circus."
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:15:36 am)
Did someone say Clowns??:
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:24:46 am)
Did someone say Clowns??:
Bookings can not be taken at this time, although please try again in August when I will win my appeal.
If you want to support Apesgrapes in my attempt to get bail, please right to your local parliament
member, or go and see Ronnie Campbell.
Also, kind person wanted to adopt Barnie the Clown Dog should I get sent down. If you are intersted (no
Chinese or Japs and other dog eaters) please contact : apesgrapes@vegas.zzn.com
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:25:45 am)
:
As I have said my name is Rufus, Rufus Casanova Love III and yes, that is my true name.
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:28:14 am)
:
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:30:38 am)
Did someone say Clowns??:
Recommendations: "He is the best midget clown around here" - Frank McGaughrin, Seghill
"When I grow up, I want to be like Apesgrapes" - Darren Trentor, age 7½ Blyth
"Yes, we did hire him, but would rather not say any more."Penny Jennings, Stakeford.
"Well I don't know much about it, although my son has curiously started wetting the bed since his birthday party" - Debbie McGee, Cramlington
"Great fun, but appeared drunk. Reacted badly to request for dwarf throwing." - Paul Hall, Bedlington
"Yes, we know of him, only too well." PC James Kennedy, Northumbria Police, Ponteland.
Some information:
No I am not russian, and thank you Jenny for the fancy logo, i made the design and Jenny makes the program.
Please dont leave nasty messages, I can trace your house from your computer, and I will come round - would you like that? Would your wife and children? Yes, probably they would.
Recommendations:
"He is the best midget clown around here" - Frank
McGaughrin, Seghill
"When I grow up, I want to be like Apesgrapes" - Darren
Trentor, age 7½ Blyth
"Yes, we did hire him, but would rather not say any more."
- Penny Jennings, Stakeford.
"Well I don't know much about it, although my son has
curiously started wetting the bed since his birthday
party" - Paula McGee, Cramlington
"Great fun, but appeared drunk. Reacted badly to request
for dwarf throwing." - Paul Hall, Bedlington
"Yes, we know of him, only too well." PC James Kennedy,
Northumbria Police, Ponteland.
HOW TO BOOK APESGRAPES
Click my face :> Here->
Guestbook
Some information:
No I am not russian, and thank you Jenny for the fancy logo, i made the design and Jenny
makes the program.
Please dont leave nasty messages, I can trace your house from your computer, and I will
come round - would you like that? Would your wife and children? Yes, probably they would.
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:31:38 am)
:
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:33:07 am)
:
Many a wife has cursed the day when Papa Lazarou swanked into town. A seemingly typical "travelling person" with his Pandemonium Carnival in tow is a good cover for Lazarou's favourite hobby, collecting wives!
If you saw him walking down the street you'd think he was some kind of panda impressionist, but he'd soon have you're ring off and you'd be netted and caged with the rest of them! "You're my wife now!". His voice would sound deep and raspy as though his voice box had been scarred through a mis-spent childhood swallowing jellyfish.
Lazarou also has a fixation with calling people Dave, whether they were christened it or not! perhaps that was his mum's name.
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:36:56 am)
:
He strutted into town like a pimp, collecting wives and selling pegs along with his Pandemonium Carnival. He had monsters to woo the punters, and with cries of "Hello Dave?" declared to any unfortunate lady he could find..."you're my wife now..." He speaks in a language that only Mama Lazarou understands, and that is gibberish.
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:39:39 am)
:
In a low Earth orbit, a glove slowly tumbled in the brilliant sunshine. The glove's career as a tiny artificial satellite of the
Earth began on the day an astronaut of the early American space program had neglected to keep up with it. While the
spacewalker was distracted with other matters, the glove had decided to venture out of the space capsule. By the time he took note of this, it had drifted beyond his reach.
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:43:33 am)
:
Their son and nephew David is kept in the attic, where they bring him "friends" which he loves to pieces. Edward and his trusty crossbow see off any strangers that unwittingly cross their path. He also has many medals, called pesatas, for he was in a war, and always comes back from these wars very tanned and happy. He hates change, in fact, he and Tubbs don't even give change.
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:46:44 am)
:
Dave Franklin and Dave Deitrich were sitting in the lounge of the LEO Port space station in Low Earth Orbit, waiting on a ride to a place more than halfway to the moon. LEO Port was the departure point for all forays beyond the Earth. Their particular destination was L-1 Port, another space station located at that point where the opposing forces of the Terrestrial and Lunar gravity fields plus the centrifugal force of the orbit all precisely balanced each other. L-1 Port was the way-station for traffic back and forth between the Earth and its moon. It was also where Dave and Dave's off-world offices were located. Dave was of medium height and build. Brown hair and eyes combined with typical facial features made him look very average. But this was the preeminent space engineer of the age: the father of Sky Bridge, that gigantic space launcher on the coast of Brazil. Mere hours ago it had launched both men from the Earth to this giant space station Dave.
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:46:47 am)
:
Well, if friendly is a vicious, embittered and vengeful. She enjoys watching the boxing, telling weeping 5 year olds about the joys of eternal damnation and threatening to bury road protesters alive. Oh, and will those bastards from St. Mary's keep their fucking wheelchairs off her lawn, please.
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:49:19 am)
Queenie:
I met John Doe once, got his autograph. He's freakishly scrawny.
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:49:52 am)
Queenie:
So my friend's ex-boyfriend is a porn star now, and last night she came over all drunk and stuff and decided that she really wanted to see his work, so we ordered a view on demand streaming porn. I haven't watched porn in a long time. Everyone's shaved now.
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:51:09 am)
:
God, he needed this holiday! It seemed that the past 6 months had been nothing but stress. One hassle after another, with no breathing space in between. What with the increasing pressures at work, and the problems with Judy,Papa Lazarou, and Edward and his trusty crossbow, he'd begun to feel almost permanently on edge. He had to get away fast, before things became too much for him.
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:51:38 am)
Froupie:
he's singing with lisa germano, theyre playing at the 100 club the next night.
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:52:15 am)
:
Dave turned his attention, with a wry smile, to the battered, 20-year old Queenie, parked forlornly on the hard shoulder a hundred metres down from the microwave tower shouting animatedly into her car-phone.
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:54:32 am)
:
The holiday was going well. He is far too polite to indulge in any of the guesthouse's customary sado-masochistic leather orgies, but hey, if you wanna hear an anecdote, he'll tell you many until the tears roll down his face.
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:54:52 am)
Queenie:
Someone needs to go to adverb jail.
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:55:12 am)
Queenie:
how exactly does one park "forlornly"?
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:55:42 am)
:
Mama Lazarou gazed out of the caravan window. She is Papa Lazarou's wife, or so he says. Truth is, he kidnapped her like the rest and stole her wedding ring. She pretends to be a fortune teller, and spits on people's hands. She talks to him in that language (gibberish) and is too afraid to kick him in the nadgers and make a run for it.
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:55:53 am)
:
"Don't make him angry. He can....do things."
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 11:56:53 am)
:
Papa Lazarou smiled and said "Really? You should have been an adverb janitor then, like me!" Everyone around the table laughed, and Queenie felt a bit embarrassed about being put down so easily, after all, how was she to know the intense man with the unnerving stare was an adverb janitor?. Composing herself poorly, she turned back to Dave and continued in her best self-righteous tone of voice, "No, I don't do it for the money." she wrinkled her nose up as if just saying the word left a bad taste in her mouth. "I do art because I enjoy the adverbs."
(Fri Apr 25, 2003 - 12:02:37 pm)