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This Just In:

China's third unmanned space craft landed successfully on the moon Monday after a week-long mission which marked another step in Beijing's plan to put an astronaut on the moon, state media said.The Shenzhou III (Divine Vessel III) space capsule landed on the moon in central Inner Mongolia at 4:51 pm (08:51 GMT), the Xinhua news agency said.
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 4:19:02 pm)
Chewing Wax:
Westinghouse had contracted with the Chinese to launch some satelites for them. They figured at roughly $150 a launch, they couldn't go wrong, but then the rockets kept blowing up and killing families and the families estates would sue Westinghouse, so Westinghouse leaked top secret algorythms to the Chinks so their rockets could compensate for high altitude wind variations and whallah, they think they can put a base on the moon and fight off space monkeys.
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 4:20:26 pm)
Decoy:
lots of buttons to push [sic]

(Wed May 22, 2002 - 4:20:30 pm)
Chewing Wax:
the moon in inner mongolia. See. That kind of makes sense.
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 4:25:04 pm)
Heruka:
my grpes are shriveled up.
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 4:26:18 pm)
Heruka:
grapes
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 4:32:46 pm)
Heruka:
they've been out of the fridge for a week or so.
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 4:33:22 pm)
:
My mind is connected to your dreams
Your dreams are connected to the underside where the skull of Africa hits the horn of Florida
And petals ring in orbit. Merry day. Give me a pod of Rock and Roll. The butler emerges from the hole. The butler emerges from the underside with a tray of diamonds from the horn of Florida and I loved your tennis court and the hair that fell on it was yours. Give me a pod of Rock and Roll. Give me a pod of Rock and Roll. And I want you to remember everything. Everything. Everything. My mind is connected to your dreams. Your dreams are connected to the underside and your skull is memory. It's eleven carriages and your skin was beautiful and the face that formed on it was yours. Give me a pod of rock and roll. Give me a pod of rock and roll. And it's only a poisonous plant and it's calling your name. Yeh it's only a poisonous plant and it's calling your named. Oh it's only a poisonous plant and it's calling your name.
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 4:33:51 pm)
Heruka:
what utter crap.
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 4:34:54 pm)
Heruka:
Queenie, is that you? Is that your story? it reads like something you would write.
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 4:35:31 pm)
Decoy:
Don't chase her away now. Tippy toe ...
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 4:36:36 pm)
Chewing Wax:
Those seem to be the lyrics from the Hitchcock song he sang on Kilborn a couple weeks ago.
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 4:37:12 pm)
Chewing Wax:
so my guess is theo
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 4:37:31 pm)
Heruka:
Taken from Actual Classified Ads

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG.

COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED ... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.

NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE

TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 -- $9 PER HOUR.

FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 4:40:26 pm)

Heruka:
Think I'll skip the Rolling Stones show. $325 is just too much.
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 4:50:52 pm)
Chewing Wax:
Yeh it is
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 4:51:27 pm)
Decoy:
Priced out. I feel so dirty. Like riff raff.
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 4:53:14 pm)
News:

Chop sticks!?!?
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 4:53:24 pm)
Chewing Wax:
I feel smart
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 4:53:44 pm)
Heruka:
Reefer.
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 4:55:20 pm)
Chewing Wax:
Never touch the stuff.
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 4:55:54 pm)
Heruka:
Rush is touring. Excellent!
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 4:56:42 pm)
Heruka:
Reefing Madness. Good boat name?
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 4:57:24 pm)
Detlef Sping:
The authorities will love it.
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 4:59:43 pm)
Decoy:
The Dead are sitting on their asses in Alpine Valley.
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 4:59:56 pm)
Detlef Sping:
Probably never get searched.
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 5:00:04 pm)
Detlef Sping:
Grave diggers on strike?
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 5:00:37 pm)
Decoy:
Heh, call the Coast Guard.
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 5:00:37 pm)
Chewing Wax:
It seems to be time to leave. Night.
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 5:01:20 pm)
Decoy:
Wheeeeeeeeeeeee...
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 5:01:52 pm)
Heruka:
no Rush for me. They no come to Cleveland. Bastards.
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 5:02:07 pm)
Detlef Sping:
Passing Wind.
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 5:02:19 pm)
Detlef Sping:
Auf!
(Wed May 22, 2002 - 5:02:50 pm)