2349
Chewing Wax:
Nah. Too much pressure.
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 2:26:20 pm)
Queenie:
Is it worth my while to download some Camper van Beethoven?
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 2:26:39 pm)
Chewing Wax:
Sure it is
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 2:26:54 pm)
Queenie:
Well if you change your mind, I'll use your line.
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 2:26:58 pm)
Queenie:
Which songs should I look for?
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 2:27:08 pm)
Queenie:
The phrase 'remotely queued' is filling me with rage.
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 2:27:39 pm)
Chewing Wax:
All the ones about drag racing
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 2:27:55 pm)
Queenie:
Drag racing, you say?
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 2:31:18 pm)
Queenie:
Come on, give me a line.
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 2:33:59 pm)
Chewing Wax:
I don't think so
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 2:39:28 pm)
Chewing Wax:
Use Burnt Balz's line about Beano
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 2:39:49 pm)
Queenie:
What line was that?
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 2:40:16 pm)
Queenie:
And you realize that since you won't give me one willingly, I'm going to have to lift one.
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 2:41:01 pm)
Balázs Bernát:
It's Balázs. We won't be having such drugs in Hungary for some time I thinking. Our scienticians have shown your Beano brand anti farting pill causes brain droop and eyeball reflectation in higher mamals. Our laws are not govenered by the big time pharmacuitical companies you'll be knowing it.
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 2:44:07 pm)
Queenie:
Oh man. That's a tough one.
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 2:46:38 pm)
Balázs Bernát:
Not more encores for you.
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 2:47:52 pm)
Queenie:
Huh?
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 2:48:12 pm)
Balázs Bernát:
I'm not some kind of performing chimpanzee for your wide American entertainment. I've been waiting in the lakehouse for a week now.
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 2:49:22 pm)
Queenie:
Now THAT'S a quote.
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 2:49:51 pm)
Balázs Bernát:
I've been waiting in the lakehouse for a week now?
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 2:51:23 pm)
Queenie:
I wrote my new friend radio guy Rick Emerson into the story last night. Some old men are sitting around a radio listening to his show, and one of them starts going off about what a un-american homo jew he is. Rick told me he frequently gets emails from guys who say that they're going to come down to the studio and kick his homo jew ass. They don't seem to let the fact that he's a heterosexual catholic stand in their way.
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 2:51:25 pm)
Queenie:
Oh Balazs, it was all wonderful.
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 2:51:38 pm)
Chewing Wax:
That's fantastic. I thought that quote was gone forever, in the vapor that is BSDR past.
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 2:59:25 pm)
Kids:
Kevin: 32?
Bruce: [Rising from being hidden by the display counter.] Present.
Kevin: May I help you?
Bruce: Yes. I'm pricing meat. So... how much for everything?
Kevin: I dunno. A thousand dollars.
Bruce: Gulp, I wish. Okay, then instead, who do you think would win in a fight between a dog and a monkey?
Kevin: Monkey.
Bruce: Yeah, I'll say! This kid, well she's a girl really, she goes to my swimming pool, and she has false teeth. I found them when I was diving for
pucks....She's 5 and she has false teeth. And she can't eat meat. You know why?
Kevin: No teeth.
Bruce: No, she's a vegetarian.... One thing I don't wanna be when I grow up, is a butcher. Is that what you wanted to be when you were a kid like me?
Kevin: Yeah kid, it's a life long dream come true.
Bruce: Yeah?
Kevin: Where's your mom exactly?
Bruce: Oh I'm killing time because she's getting a make over.
[Cut to salon.]
Mark: Ready. [Mark in a mud pack that's being sanded off by power tools.]
Bruce: My mom says that if there's a depression, that I'll have to enter a dance marathon, cause I'm the man of the house. I better start sloooow. You know
what's in wieners? Well, there's cow's eyes, and dog's heads, and old phone books, and, of course, *wiener flavor*....
Kevin: Really? That's good to know.
Bruce: Yep, yeah, and on my vacation I went to Washington state. and I really had a fabulous time, thank you. Have you ever been to Mammal World and
seen the 300 kinds of mammal bones and then driven on the highway to the restaurant that echoes?
[Silence. Kevin ignores him.]
Bruce: Yeah, I did. You know why that restaurant echoes?
Kevin: [dreading the answer] Why?
Bruce: Uh, I don't know either. You should ask my mom.
[Cut to Mark in the beautician's chair, singing at the top of his lungs into a wind machine.]
Kevin: No, that's okay.
Bruce: So what did you do on your vacation?
Kevin: Went to divorce court.
Bruce: How was that?
[Kevin flattens a bunch of hamburger then cuts about 20% off of it.]
Kevin: Her's [referring to the 80%.] Mine. [Referring to the 20%.]
Bruce: Oh. Do you ever worry about losing your finger, like that guy that got drunk with my dad at the Legion while I waited in a cab? Because if you loose
your finger on your hand-shaking hand, you could never meet anybody new. Like a woman to replace your wife.
Kevin: 33.
Bruce: [hands him #33] What do you know about the longest bunny hop line of all time?
Kevin: 34.
[Bruce hands him #34.]
Kevin: 89!!!
[Bruce pauses then hands him #89.]
Kevin: YES!
Bruce: How much do you think my head weighs?
Kevin: [disbelieving] What!?!
Bruce: How much do you think my head weighs. Like if I weighed it on the scale, you know if the angle was right?
Kevin: With or without hair?
Bruce: With. [rolls eyes as if to say 'Duh']
Kevin: Twelve pounds.
Bruce: Now, if my head were veal, which I know it is not, if my head were veal, how much would it be worth?
Kevin: Fifty four dollars.
Bruce: [Mulls it over a moment] No, I don't think I'll sell.
Kevin: Really? That's too bad.
Bruce: Yep. Yeah, but I've gotta go. 'Cuz my mom, she'll be dry by now.
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 3:08:59 pm)
bela:
walter is pretty easy to talk to once you get past all the creepiness which is him. We like walter though. I mean, he hasn't lived in this country very long and hes really carved a niche in the tuba scene here in NYC. Hes good people.
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 3:20:14 pm)
Queenie:
Yep.
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 3:27:33 pm)
Queenie:
I'm listening to Rick right now. He really is a sick bastard. They're talking about that crematorium with all the bodies in the yard, and he starts playing "Diggin' Up Bones" by Randy Travis.
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 3:29:00 pm)
Queenie:
"industrial sense insane". Good one.
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 3:31:02 pm)
Queenie:
oops. sense = strength
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 3:31:11 pm)
Chewing Wax:
What?
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 3:33:27 pm)
Queenie:
industrial strenght insane.
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 3:37:24 pm)
Queenie:
And still I spelled it wrong. I give up.
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 3:37:37 pm)
Detlef Sping:
Stinks
(Wed Feb 20, 2002 - 3:37:40 pm)