131
Chewing Wax:
I'm going home now. Good night.
(Thu Feb 3, 2000 - 4:20:22 pm)
Capt.Puget:
Tight lines and straight shootin' sports fans.
(Thu Feb 3, 2000 - 4:22:28 pm)
That hateful smile:
Susy DeLucci and the Miracle of Life........................... One morning around 5 am 22 year old Susan DaLucci of Kittery Maine, woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhea, but when she stood up out of bed, she realized that it was urinary pain. It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhea, just out the wrong hole. She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard. In paralyzing pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes continued to push and squirt out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth while she gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled. She was screaming wildly, and the neighbors called the police. When medics arrived they found Ms. DeNucci unconscious lying on the floor of her bathroom wearing nothing but her bath robe. Running down her leg, was a stream of brown and green syrup. The medic had to transfer her to a stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg which was bent crossing her other leg, to straighten her out. She was lying there all twisted up. When he lifted her left leg to straighten her body out, he exposed her vagina at which point a creature, no larger than the tip of a finger wormed its way out of her genitals and landed on the floor with a wet popping sound. Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that was lying on the tile bathroom floor in a casing of mucous. It was a tiny mud shrimp and it sat there on the cold floor gasping for water while flipping itself back and forth. The horrified medic turned to the toilet as he felt the nausea setting in. When he put his face down into the toilet to puke what he saw was so horrific that to this day he cannot look into a toilet without convulsing. The entire toilet bowl was boiling with baby brown mud shrimp flipping and splashing at a furious pace. If you think that is bad - wait until you hear how it happened: Ms. DeLucci official death was the result of a combination of shock and severe head trauma. She stood up over the toilet in pain and when she saw what she had done, she went into shock and fell, smashing her head on the toilet and then on the floor. It is believed by medical police that on two nights before the accident she had purchased a live lobster at a fish market. While lying in a tub, she gently inserted the creature's tail into her vagina to derive pleasure. At that point, she held a lighter under the creature's face causing it to flip its tail in a violent snapping motion. The medics found a lesbian XXX video in the VCR and the TV was positioned on a table in front of the tub. The lobster was found in the kitchen garbage can wrapped in a paper bag. Traces of Ms. DeLucci's DNA were found on the lobster along with pubic hairs that had wedged themselves between the lobster tail joints. The lobster's face was lightly burned with the same fuel used in lighters. The lobster's digestive track and colon were found to be full of mud shrimp egg casings. Doctors believe that the lobster had eaten them (they are common in the water at fish markets and are usually harmlessly boiled to death) and the lobster had crapped them out into Ms. DeLucci's cunt when she was torturing it. Maine mud shrimp only take two days to gestate and Ms. DeLucci was only four days away from getting her period, doctors believe that at that point of her menstrual cycle, her womb was the perfect PH balance to grow these mud shrimp which are a much larger version of the popular "Sea Monkey" pets sold throughout the US. Over night the eggs had hatched and the mud shrimp began doubling in size every ten minutes. You can imagine the pain she was in when she woke up that morning and gave birth to well over 1,000 mud shrimp in her toilet.
(Thu Feb 3, 2000 - 6:30:24 pm)
Chewing Wax:
KFC is better. It makes more sense.
(Thu Feb 3, 2000 - 6:44:35 pm)
m©:
I dont wish to know that story..
(Thu Feb 3, 2000 - 8:12:24 pm)
Heruka:
That's a pretty offensive story. Hey m©, have you hit your neighborhood pub yet? I'm heading down to mine on a few moments. It's like walking into a friends garage and walking out of the troubles of the ral world. If at least for an hour or two or three or ten. Couldn't imagine moving somewhere where there wasn't one around. What I think Myk meant wax, is that without Robyn, this site would have never been conceived. In all probability at least. Not that Robyn even gets mentioned here on a regular basis. Moss Elixir is a brilliant brilliant disc. To put deCherico Street before You and Oblivion. One of his most funloving lighthearted tunes and one of his grimmist back to back.
(Thu Feb 3, 2000 - 8:28:53 pm)
Heruka:
The sad part is. I took a typing class in the 8'th grade. I think it was the 8'th grade. As I recall, we spent much of the class popping of the letters and rearranging them into obscene suggestions and such. I was one hell of a goofy 14 year old.
(Thu Feb 3, 2000 - 8:34:06 pm)
Decoy:
Yes, please remove that from my memory.
(Thu Feb 3, 2000 - 9:39:55 pm)
:
...eerrruuuuppppp.....'cuse me!
(Thu Feb 3, 2000 - 10:53:50 pm)
Myk Murphy:
oh god, that's unpleasant. that must be the story i heard about that got a local radio jock suspended this week. he likes to discuss rather unpleasant things, so i can imagine that this was his sort of news item. i heard that it was about a woman and a lobster, but i had no idea how nasty this was. if that never makes it to the archives, wax, i doubt anyone would mind.
(Fri Feb 4, 2000 - 1:06:09 am)
Myk Murphy:
god, i'm up too damn late. time for bed. had to help a friend with an evil PC.
(Fri Feb 4, 2000 - 1:07:28 am)
Cushca:
My goodness. I wonder which dickless, sick, twisted, fuck could have posted such a horrific thing. Hmm. It really is a mystery.
(Fri Feb 4, 2000 - 3:47:42 am)
Sleepy:
Oh, Cushca keeps making horrid flappy lobster tail noises with her tongue. Please make her stop. Good morning.
(Fri Feb 4, 2000 - 5:55:32 am)
Dr GB:
Hm. Now that's a tricky one, Bird. Let's consider our options.
(Fri Feb 4, 2000 - 6:21:16 am)
Cushca:
Yes. Let's.
(Fri Feb 4, 2000 - 6:29:08 am)
Decoy:
'Morning rock lobsters.
(Fri Feb 4, 2000 - 8:54:59 am)
Hitler ... ERRR Haider:
We will create many new jobs in law enforcement. And then we will make the world safe for a good, clean, decent gestapo.
(Fri Feb 4, 2000 - 9:01:13 am)
Decoy:
Behold:
(Fri Feb 4, 2000 - 9:06:32 am)
Myk Murphy:
hello folks. so today the EU changes the secret handshake and won't tell Austria? Gee... that should keep them from hating foreigners.
(Fri Feb 4, 2000 - 9:29:22 am)
Chewing Wax:
I'm afraid in an indirect way I'm the one responsible for Heruka's charming little seafood posting. I reset the KFC modern urban legend, and Heruka followed the scent to one of many urban legend websites and found that tasty little tid bit for us all to enjoy. I blame myself.
(Fri Feb 4, 2000 - 9:37:18 am)
Sleepy:
A thousand lobsters are printing your face on Wanted signs right now.
(Fri Feb 4, 2000 - 9:45:30 am)
Chewing Wax:
With my carapace shell
(Fri Feb 4, 2000 - 9:47:01 am)
Sleepy:
Please tell me you're not wearing black lace.
(Fri Feb 4, 2000 - 9:49:40 am)
Chewing Wax:
Not everywhere
(Fri Feb 4, 2000 - 9:52:36 am)
:
(Fri Feb 4, 2000 - 10:34:03 am)
Decoy:
Only ten more messages until it goes into the archives...
(Fri Feb 4, 2000 - 10:38:15 am)
Sleepy:
Hello.
(Fri Feb 4, 2000 - 10:40:35 am)
Decoy:
Hi. Are you drunk yet?
(Fri Feb 4, 2000 - 10:41:57 am)
Decoy:
Sorry, that didn't make sense. That keeps happening to me.
(Fri Feb 4, 2000 - 10:46:16 am)
Sleepy:
Get a grip, man.
(Fri Feb 4, 2000 - 10:49:21 am)
Chewing Wax:
It could be the extra tounge
(Fri Feb 4, 2000 - 10:50:08 am)
Sleepy:
I think CW has gone back home to change out of the black lace.
(Fri Feb 4, 2000 - 10:50:24 am)
Sleepy:
Oh, he's back already.
(Fri Feb 4, 2000 - 10:50:42 am)