1112
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(Thu May 17, 2001 - 10:15:30 am)
Black Jack the Monkeyman:
Mr Kumar and "Shabby" Shabbar's friends say the simian-like attacker was about three-and-a-half feet tall. "He wore a steel outfit with steel claws. He moved very fast," they said and before I knew it, something stamped me on the foot so hard It made me awake.
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 10:21:05 am)
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(Thu May 17, 2001 - 10:23:39 am)
Mrs Dr GB:
Grrrr. Gizza kiss
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 10:33:07 am)
Cushca:
Nice one bird. Now fucking stop it.
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 10:41:27 am)
:
It has long been known that simian like men, collectively known as Dwarkari, lived in the jungle outskirts of Delhi, often slinking into the city at night to drink rain water out of the gutters and occassionaly feast on the discarded onion skins and peanut sweepings left in the streets. Seen as beneficial, it is now believed that a new faction of Dwarkari have developed a taste for meat, possible for human flesh, and they have begun experimental hunting trips. They often wear elaborate disguises, including sunglasses, false beards, and Richard Nixon masks. They have the distinct odor of hashish about them.
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 10:44:06 am)
Uh oh:

(Thu May 17, 2001 - 10:47:06 am)
:

As we approach opposition with Mars, it provides the perfect opportunity for those green Martian bastards to invade the earth. Beward of buzzing in the sky. Their scouts often come disguised as monkey-men, and they have a taste for Indian food. They really love Tandori.
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 10:51:32 am)
Mrs Dr GB:
A man goes into the store and hands the pharmacist a prescription for viagra. He says to the pharmacist, "Can you cut each table into 4 pieces please?" The pharmacist says, "Quarter of a tablet won’t get you through sex" and the man says, "I’m 85 years old - I just want to make it stick out enough that I don’t pee on my shoes".
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 10:57:04 am)
Chewing Wax:
Where does she get these fabulous jokes?
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 11:01:14 am)
rOb!:
Gee, I hope I can stay out of the way of those monkey men. They sound quite frightening.
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 11:23:49 am)
bela:
Hi.
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 11:28:44 am)
bela:
This monkey man business makes me think of these two retarded brothers in the hood that the kids call Pig men. I think they're inbred, they do look really strange. One of them started chatting with me one day while I was walking the pooches, and he told me that he had sex with his mother and she was pregnant.
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 11:31:44 am)
rOb!:
bela, you need to write a book.
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 11:33:11 am)
:

(Thu May 17, 2001 - 11:34:58 am)
:
Haha Charade you are.
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 11:36:30 am)
Chewing Wax:
The best X-Files episode was about those pig men, but their real name is the Peacock family. They're from Home, Pennsylvania originally. Stay away from them.
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 11:36:47 am)
:
you radiate cold shafts of broken glass
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 11:37:07 am)
bela:
I was being nice to him, because I felt bad because everyone is mean to them, and when he told me that I said "Ok, thats really gross, you have to get away from me now." The mother wasn't pregnant, just fat. Her name is Mary and I know who she is. I found out that the other brother has sex with men under the BQE and in alleyways and whatnot, and he spent some time locked up for fondling a little boy. God, they live 2 blocks from me. Isn't that terrible? There are so many kids running around my neighborhood all hours of the night.
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 11:37:48 am)
bela:

(Thu May 17, 2001 - 11:39:13 am)
rOb!:
Speaking of the X-Files, I just read that The Lone Gunmen will not be back next season, due to low ratings. That sucks.....
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 11:41:48 am)
bela:
Yeah, sorry. That story is really gross. I thought the X Files was long over. I never liked that show. I thought it was stupid. I couldn't stand that Scully.
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 11:43:08 am)
What are Gaikwads?:
During the periods of Bhimji, Mahmud Begada who was sultan of Gujarat, conquered Okhamandal destroying the Monkeyman temple at Dwarka. Later the Vaghers drove out the British and the Gaikwads.
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 11:44:38 am)
rOb!:
I was a huge X-Files fan until the Lone Gunmen came on. Now I love the Gunmen and hate the X-Files.
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 11:44:47 am)
Cushca:
Message for bela - don't ever mention Heruka and myself in the rather too intimate context you did yesterday again.
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 11:45:01 am)
Cushca:
And I'm not being over-sensitive and I'm not being difficult. Just don't do it again.
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 11:45:34 am)
Mrs Dr GB:
Pig men? Monkey men? Decoy, can't you put a sign up saying "no beasts allowed"? Most bars don't allow beasts.
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 11:46:04 am)
Mrs Dr GB:
Although the pig men story is excellent in a horrible way. And the monkey man story is just bloody hilarious. In today's Metro: "A pregnant woman died when she fell down a staircase while trying to escape afterneighbours shouted that the beast was coming. A man was killed when he leapt in terror from a two-storey building screaming "The monkey has come". At least two short men have been beaten up after being mistaken for the creature." I mean: Viz couldn't do better.
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 11:47:24 am)
bela:
Sorry Cushca. I won't do it again.
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 11:49:14 am)
Gaikwads:
Resilient British sympathiser during the hey day of the British empire, they were small, rat like, kept hoards of jewels under their stone and mud dwellings. Known primarily as baby brokers, they would sneak into huts during the night, swiping young lower caste hindu babies, and replacing them with ripe Chimpanzee eggs or other primate gestational matter. They were despised by most right thinking people, but protected by the British, they thrived until the great Vagher expulsion. Today, their hides fetch a reasonable price on the New Delhi black market. Their meat is very good when marinated properly.
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 11:51:42 am)
Mrs Dr GB:
It is time for me to leave this place. Goodbye, everyone. Beware humans that resemble beasts. Especially cloven hooved ones.
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 11:54:39 am)
rOb!:
Chimpanzee eggs?
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 11:54:55 am)
Chewing Wax:
goodnight GB
(Thu May 17, 2001 - 11:55:26 am)